Remarks by Ma Fu Si Ji poetry deeply welcomed by the people of the Soviet Union, but also caused the some frivolous as the literati of his jealous furnace and attack. In a meeting, someone accused harbour evil designs he said: “Why are you in the poem ‘I’ word? How can I see you as an extreme individualism!”
Remarks by Ma Fu Si base feel annoying and ridiculous, and he replied with a smile: “why poetry cannot be used first person a ‘I’ as you to the beloved girl courtship. What exactly is it that you said ‘I love you’, or to say, ‘we love you”? ” This smart humor, back strong, make provocative and shame and vexation, be struck dumb.
Famous British writer George Bernard Shaw, young failing timid, eloquence is not, but he to afraid of make a fool of yourself learn skating spiritual practice your speech and debate, become famous in the world of the speaker. Once, his new script, “the weapon and the man,” the first performance was successful. At the end, many of the audience asked Bernard Shaw on stage, accept the congratulations. But when he took to the stage. All of a sudden, a man rushed onto the stage, he cried out with a loud voice: “George Bernard Shaw, your screenplay sucks! Who wants to see the broken play, hurry back, stop play it!” audience by surprise, thought George Bernard Shaw will be trembling with anger, angry over this irrational provocation “. Who knew George Bernard Shaw not only angry, instead of politely to individual deeply bowed bowed, smiling and said: “my friends, you say is right. I completely agree with you, but unfortunately, we are two people against so many people have what use? Can we both ban the play?” This sudden detonated the audience followed by warm applause set the whole room roaring with laughter, a storm. In the applause, they had to pick a Xing River runs away. If Bernard Shaw can speak against it, even though he can win, he cannot achieve such a wonderful effect.
Opinion, humor can be a surprise move, but the trick is not is celebrity “patent”, anyone as long as the heart can clever interesting words and the way to resolve conflicts, provocative comebacks, in a car traveling on the bus, because the car brakes suddenly, the car has personal fall less defense, hit a girl. The girl blamed him for saying, “virtue!” the man immediately explained, “I’m sorry, but this is not a ‘virtue’, it is’ inertia ‘!”. “Virtue” is a curse unscrupulous, the meaning of the individual to certainly know, but on this occasion seriously to her explanation, or is answered her with a sentence not nice words, is likely to lead to disputes, into a more embarrassing situation. And a word “inertia” is for him not stand scientific explanation, and to her curse words best corrective and retaliate, has indisputable accuracy and penetration.
The anti mouth examination, impromptu Guide
With each other as well as a variety of ways, such as some people blame you why in a same topic on the back. You can export asked: “national policy often changed le! I am an ordinary people, but said the vernacular, are not allowed to change?” This question, but the other side asked to live. If there are people with you because of something at odds, and you look down and said: “you know what? Arguing with you, it is “you can take the lead cast pearls before swine! Come back,” to each other! Cattle harp! “But these or not good humor.
There are various mistime one’s remarks. First. Talk about some embarrassing behavior, Zhi must promptly change the subject, coordination and gas. Two young people go to visit the teacher. Mentioned in the conversation:
“Teacher, I heard that your wife is teaching English, we would like to slide to teach, OK?”
The teacher said, “that is my former lover, and I broke up with me.”.”
“Oh? Excuse me, Miss ”
“No, drink some water.”
“Teacher, what time do you publish your book? Come on, right? ”
Such a conversion topic, in particular, is willing to put forward the topic of the other is willing to talk, will make the conversation quickly resume normal, active atmosphere.
Failure Ernest’s second case is intentionally or unintentionally joke with you, with irony, make you distress to angry. Like your hair falls off a lot. Soon the bald, someone is likely to taunt you is “light bulb”, “gally”. In this case, you can not become shame, nor hurt; nothing hard swallow insult and humiliation silently. It is best to laugh out of court, suddenly magnanimous sentences: “good! It means I was extremely clever. Did not hear it? The busy street is not long grass, clever head not long!” This reply, topic content has not turned, extended, turning, can get rid of the dilemma, and self praise, not Miaozai?
The third is the two sides of the opposition to talk about, but the problem still need to be resolved, can not be avoided. In this case you need to detour guide mistime one’s remarks.
In the problem of finding the object, the mother and child. My son did not want to and his mother is not so stiff, had to wait for the opportunity to say. The day of the meal, the mother also nagging: “you this child, how do not listen to the mother’s words? The daughter of the chief’s daughter, who is good, but also has the house, why don’t you do not have to talk to others, to be”
“Mom, eat fast, cold food is not good,” son of the first topic, intended to guide the detour.
Contact, negotiate business, may also fall into the Bureau Yan mistime one’s remarks. As long as there is room, you can put forward a new topic, as guide. Such as the sale of four tons of trucks, and Party B not four tons, two tons of. At this time, if the Party of the first part hard scalp dispute, only more about the IEO, broke up. ‘if change the subject, guide the bending, from season to season, road, plant weight and vehicle length of life and other factors to cause Party B to consider only two tons of ills, may be able to “Vista”, open up a new way.
Clever Dodge, detached hypothesis
In the dialogue in some of the same questions difficult to say accurately and make a conclusion, then do not rigidly adhere to a positive answer, and to say some things associated with this to guide each other thinking, or is by analogy, suppose, grafting, implicit answer, a little hint. In this way, not only from the same questions raised, so that the other party is satisfied; and can skillfully avoid the difficulties, and to transcend freely.
Liu Ji has such a conversation with some young people:
Youth asked: some people say that long hair, beard is the spirit of pollution. Do you think so? Liu Ji a. a nation has a national customs. Marx and Engels not only long hair, long beard, but they are the ancestors of the Communist party. Chairman Mao and Premier Zhou hair is not long beard, did not leave, they are also our respected and beloved mentor. This way, avoid the simple conclusion, it is full and decent. They can be detached, the other is satisfied.
The famous Russian writer Herzen once made friends should be invited to a concert. However, the concert performances soon, he would celebrate the trouble with both hands Wu ears dozing off. The hostess saw him so strange, pushed him, and asked:
“Sir, you don’t like music?”
He shook his head: “this low-level coltish music what is good?”
“Ah?” The hostess exclaimed, “what do you say? Here are all popular music. 1”
“Is it a good thing to be popular?”
The hostess asked: “how can you be so popular?”
Herzen smiled: “so, the popular cold is also a noble?” Then he left home.
Herzen rebuttal evidence, concise and powerful, because he thrust
clear and reductio ad absurdum this logic weapons, to discern the affair, some problems can call a spade a spade hit the nail on the head, do not be avoided, not vague.
If your colleagues or friends blame you in public, and the situation is not true, so that you are embarrassed. You can be in a calm mood to say: “if we talk this problem? I’m asking you to make sure you know the situation. If you don’t pay attention to respect the facts, I did after very difficult to trust you. If your friends and relatives blame you for no reason, you will clearly say: “you have let me embarrassed, but you always tell me this is for what reason? Where did I get you?”
Of course, if you do something wrong, what job is not intentional, it is sincere. This is common sense, call a spade a spade. So as to solve the problem, get rid of the dilemma.
When is not easy to speak , use of euphemism
“Sishitongtang”, the second day wandering Qi Jia Ruifeng fooling around, often to the house for money sister Mei yun. But the whole family life is very difficult, the rhyme Mei can give. Do not give it, afraid to get family Ruifeng petulancy. Yun Mei is really in a dilemma. This day, Ruifeng to want money, Yun Mei had said: “the second, I discovery to you when to vote?” When the vote, that have no money, only when something’s keeping, suggesting; Qi home rule, I’m afraid of losing face. So, if there is a second nature, also won’t let Yun Mei trouble.
When you are faced with this difficult, reserved words, euphemism, it is necessary to achieve the purpose, but also conciliatory, to prevent the intensification of contradictions, sometimes hidden motives.
Some people always come up with the show, in order to be famous at the expense of buying opportunity. He said to a friend, who is the person in charge of a game, “man, I sponsor 300 yuan, let me be a judge how?” The man who knows he is not eligible to be a judge, but also not good: let you be a judge, and that the judges have prestige? So, he said to the friend’s voice replied: “you have no place to throw the money? Why do you join in the fun?” So, not only to the improper requirements, and not hurt each other’s feelings, but also make them feel may be best for him.
When we interact with people, we often encounter some difficult questions and embarrassing situation. At this time, the want to talk like keep or in speaking should pay attention to what Nick Ning when you are in after the problem before and embarrassed, the general principle is to discern the affair, speak properly; the outspoken and blunt; the clever answer the, clever answer; the vague vague I the super de detached – – – – – – in short, from a practical point of view, depends on the situation, touch on any lock with a corresponding key to open. But there is one point to pay particular attention: when people deliberately making things difficult for or humiliate you and make you feel hurt when, you must not to be absorbed in gas used their temper, don’t bite the bullet hardtop. The sample will intensify the conflict, escalation, bukekaijiao, two on all injury. You can’t be tongue tied, or blushed, Xing like will make the other feel that you are weak and can be bullied. It is very likely that he will become the real tease you. The only way is: calm, emotional control, using the language of art, especially with quick witted humor sense to deal with; of course, the other makes you feel embarrassed and distress is not out of malice, many normal exchanges will make people facing challenges and threats. Not to be reduced to what kind of situation, the first one is to talk must be appropriate.
Speak properly, avoid mistakes
TV film “talk about Baosteel” in such a question and answer:
The program hosts the world: during the war of resistance against Japan, the Japanese imperialist aggression against china. The people of our country have great hatred for the Japanese invaders, and now we have to build Baosteel, the introduction of Japan’s machinery, equipment and technology. Some viewers have such doubts: this will not hurt our national feelings?
Said; this is totally different from the. The Japanese imperialist aggression against China, so that our people suffered a great disaster, the account should be considered in the head of the Japanese militarism, with the Japanese people and business people, of course, can not say that the only direct relationship, no direct relationship. Now we are building Baosteel, which is doing business with the Japanese businessman.
The answer of good intention that “this is totally different in nature from” clearly, but how can pull in “cannot say completely unrelated”, and “indirect”? People ask you, “the indirect relationship” is not the relationship? This cannot make out a good case, inevitable because of passive in a dilemma. Go to this step, it will only admit corrections, lessons learned, any skills to be of no avail. So to speak, to grasp the purpose and logic, to be just perfect, so as to avoid the loss of speech, a handle, resulting in a cocoon around oneself.
Ask for work, psychological offensive and talking technology have an inestimable role, it can make you more smooth or with smaller cost to achieve the objective. People have the propensity for the same or a bosom friend, to make the other side will you soul mate must cater to, and never annoying, called a tiresome.
On outgoing, sociable, in office and have a talk with them generally will not have any side effects, while the introverted, timid, sensitive, suspicious people are prone to side effects. At this time, we should change the environment, in the outdoor courtyard, just to talk, so easy to achieve the purpose of persuasion.
The claimant only talk about yourself, does not stop said “please help me, please help this kind of words, can let a person feel extremely impatient.
If you want to make your request to the other side, it should be willing to listen to the other side of the gesture, such as listening to others, listening to others will be willing to listen to you.
Conversation materials don’t always platitudes, or circles home and mahjong in the scope, so not only easy to make tired of each other, but also imposed. Unable to expand the scope of the conversation, it can not further make the other person to understand their own, but do not have to say with each other deeply contact.
Whether it comes to what problem should put their eyes and brain thinks communicate to each other, to any question can: original insights are most important.
But do not indulge in verbiage, what are used to show their. In daily conversation, the average person is said to have some of the things around, this may be a kind of want to say to each other. In the formal conversation, it is best not to put the wife, children as a conversation. Some habits of about a few words seriously, the topics pulled to his wife and children, Qiu such as housework, can not be regarded as a good conversation.
Talk first from the political, economic and other more serious topic, and then related to literature, art, personal interests and other more relaxed topic. In short, to see the concept of the church is being published, making each other have a common idea, is the best conversation.
Language to talk to each other’s culture and choice, ‘to do, can be elegant and vulgar, it will not have the feeling of the alien.
A man who is good at conversation, he will pay attention to politeness, with words, not to speak out of time, because he knows that inappropriate words tend to hurt others, even if it is too late to make up for. On the contrary, if you behave well, the attitude is very mild, the Secretary to the sound, the two sides will naturally be able to talk about speculation, respectively, after each other will miss.
So in order to make the other side of you have a good impression, you must speak good, before the speech to consider, do not think about what to say what, so that the people do not know why. Deng some outspoken friend usually to raise his own style of thinking is cautious, cut can not be Qiu spitting like the week country is where just blurt out, is will be looked down upon by others.
Since the claimant, mostly work and life difficulties and crises, than if the home is sick, marital discord, career is not going smoothly, these because of the home will make people submit to itch, loss of confidence, not only affect mood and influence and around people’s communication. In a low mood, the request of others can be placed in the care of a helping hand, can be understood, but do not bring over the depression of the emotions to others. Ask for work is always a sad face, will make people feel bad.
(6) with a discussion of the tone
In order to discuss the tone of the requirements of the thing to say it is a good way. Such as: “can you quickly put this thing to do?” “Is it OK to do this?”
Don’t pretend to grasp, to express the request, advice, to leave each other and their full retreat. For example: “you may not want to, but I still want to trouble you to go.”
In others or to the ideas of others, if in the discourse said people may do not have the relevant conditions or the will, not inconsiderate, oneself also is a measured.
(7) as for WAN begged, as induced by persuasion
The United States (New York Daily) editor in chief Leiter around the lack of a shrewd and capable assistant, he will be eyeing the young John Hay, he needs to help him to fame, help the standard Lilley became the leading newspaper of successful publisher. At that time, John just from the Spanish capital Madrid foreign office is preparing to return to dismount, home Illinois, the practice of law. Rett invited him to dinner at the union club. After dinner, he proposed John. The sea to the newspaper to play. And found an important message from many of the telecommunications. The editor of the foreign news is not in, the son is he to John said: “please sit down, for tomorrow’s newspaper to write a Duan Guanzi the news of the editorial.” John nature can not refuse, the son is to bring a pen to write. Editorial writing good, lattice Lilley after see also appreciated, Hamlet asked him to help top lack a week, a month, gradually simply let him to the post. John on this way to give back to his hometown to do a lawyer’s plan, and stay in New York to do a reporter.
It can be concluded that a law to ask for work: as for WAN begged, as induced by persuasion.
The use of this strategy should pay attention to: the induction of others to participate in their own business, should be the first to arouse the interest of others.
When you want to induce others to do something very easy, you have to give him a little victory. When you want to induce people to do a great thing, you’d better give him a strong stimulus, make him to do this thing has a successful interviewers I in this case, his pride is aroused, he has been a desire for success of consciousness to stimulate the, so he will be glad to to a pleasant experience to try again
All leaders know that this is an important strategy to make people work. But sometimes, often have to spend a lot of scheming to use this strategy, sometimes very easy; like Ret John a case, he just slightly do the arrangements.
In short, it is necessary to bring about the people’s hands, the things that are easy to succeed, and to be a real success.
(8) the right way to ask someone to help you
Asking others to pay attention to the language of propriety, should urge with mood, do not use the “how not to handle?” “Is not to say today to give me a reply? Why speech does not count?” “You, what time to solve the”, “this must be handled before the end of sentence or sentence order to ‘etc.. It would be much better if you had to change another question.
No impatience, patience; not to mind taking the trouble to visit, appeal your reasons and requirements. Don’t expect to be able to get a reply soon and deal with it, to have the psychological preparation for a long war. Even by the cold, touch the nail, or processing hair on fire, you must keep calm, as long as the same topic can handle, aggrieved by the point is worth.
In the reminder time interval is getting shorter and shorter, the number of times to be more and more frequent, it will cause a sense of urgency. Frequently urged is likely to cause each other’s irritability, this does not matter, as long as you are a gift to have no relationship, as long as you persevere, it will bring a turning point.
(3) the subject of easy humor
The topic of easy humor can often cause feelings of pleasure, a serious topic can make people nervous. As long as it is possible, it is best to say that a serious topic can be said in a relaxed form of humor, which is more likely to be accepted.
A young migrant workers working in a foreign enterprise, in a relatively short period of time for the two time put forward rationalization proposals, so that production costs were reduced by 30% and 20%. Big nose boss very happy, said to him: “young man, do a good job, I will treat you.” Of course, the youth of course know that this sentence may be of great significance, it may not be worth a text. He wanted to point it out, and he smiled and said, “I think you will put this sentence in my pocket. The boss smiled, said: “Frank will, will.” Soon he got a big red envelope and a pay rise.
In the face of the boss’s encouragement, the young man if not such a playful, but sit down and seriously seriously put forward a raise, and put out a number of, not too much, and even counterproductive.
(4) make another set to talk to each other.
Sometimes, some say it is awkward to say, then, to induce the other side to first open is the best policy
(5) to achieve the purpose of the attack by innuendo
Life plead for the people, on behalf of the people work often encounter unsatisfactory, but as long as you learn the tactful expression method, beating about the Bush, often can play an unexpected effect.
South Korea to build a new city wall, the completion of 15 days. Secretary Duan Joe is in charge of the matter. A county has been delayed for two days, while Joe has arrested the supervisor of the county to be imprisoned. The officer’s son managed to rescue father, found management boundaries of high officials, so high for father. Son high promised this thing.
See section Joe, the son Gao does not directly mention the release of the matter, but and section of the wall of the wall, deliberately left and right, and then said: “this wall is too beautiful, really can be regarded as a remarkable achievement. Credit so large, and the whole project has not been punished after the end of a person, which really makes people admire. But I have heard that adults will be a county supervisor of Engineering officials called the review, I see no need, the whole project built such a good, appear a small number of leakage is not surprising, again why the need for a bit bagatelle affect your credit. ”
Duan Qiao Jianzi such a high opinion of his work, heart is happy, then listen to sub high opinion is reasonable, the son is took the official release.
The officials are able to receive free, mostly in sub high. High to a tall hat for Joe belt, and then won the essentials, take the matter on its merits, it can not be overwhelmed with admiration for. In fact, and the general people are in the existence of the psychological and mental state, to those who are in their own mind is easy to accept. Comply with the law of development, so things will be successful lobbying wormtongue.